Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Chat Aficionados (xat): incomplete list

Here are the tidbits about the different chat aficionados, my very own category - unscientific but based from my keen observation and ...entitled opinion...

The Illusionist – these are the hyena-like faces at the chat room. They have the toughest face to give themselves outstanding, fantastical, wondrous, stupendous nick but in reality they have the anchovy-like gray matter, considering the number of neurons and synaptic connections.

Samples: catch up with the combination of the cunning intelligence of Athena and the heavenly beauty of Aphrodite.

The False-Humility trickers
– I’m no good but look at me again I’m great. These are the showy geek freaks who use uncertain remarks such as “baka, daw, parang ganun” in answering the inquiries of the inquirers (another category) but in fact they wanted to show off the magnitude of their superior quality.

Samples: wait till’ the coffee talks.

Know-it-all veggies –
This category has a similarity with the false-humility trickers but more pesky and imposing with their tasteless display. These are the claiming extravagant as if they know all the elements on earth but sometimes, rather, most of the times; they just ride in to the infamous talk.

Samples: okay, tama nga yun, I remember (then justifies), yes ganun yun…

Weeps Spillers
– These are the emotional freaks who love to broadcast their dramatic and moving fairy-tale for public support and sympathy -“Hay naku bakit mo ako iniiwasan, bakit k b ganyan…Hirap ng trabaho ko sobra na kong nagsusuffer”

Samples: ride in to the Queens’ theatrical accounts.

Lurkers
– These freaks are riddled with insecurities or doubts that they’re not worth of the crowd’s attention. So they just creep around for the perfect timing. But other lurkers are more substantial with their “I watch and I see what others do not see” attitude.

Samples: log in and then see them all waiting in the shadows.

"I am here, can’t you see" animals
– They are fairly straightforward but generally histrionic “attention is mine belief” animals. The attention seeker or what we usually label as the urban “pampam”. They flaunt in the room with their “all caps” statements or protracted spelling.

Samples: m2m

The rotten tomatoes or spoilers
– These are the antisocial freaks who just come to the room to ruin someone’s life. There you go the unstoppable curses; they just love to unstich the sitch”

Samples: just wait, they’ll come in a moment

Inquirers - There are three types of grotesque inquirers.
The devils-advocate inquirer – they throw questions just to test how far you can go. There’s always a doubt in every answer given. They’re simply the fuckinality skeptics.
The Hyphy inquirer- These are the bunch of e40ism, deemed inferior for they’re inquiring for poppycock question. Where I could find the forum link (jeez navigate, use your eyes – voice raises octave)? Is the 07 result out already? They may sound “pampam” but better place them under this category.
The true inquirers – They question good questions.

Peace Keeper wannabe
- They act as if they’re natural mediator (born or/and made), and the crowd tend to trust them for not having sides. The hell of truth, they try too hard to fit in the crowd and wish they have the skills and power of a pro but in the end they piss themselves and earn disgust. But sometimes these wannabes turn out to be an in-demand live stage thespian.

Samples: no need, way too obvious!

Lusty bunnies – rock on satyriasis and nymphomaniac. These are the lusty bunnies, they can’t live even for a minute without the thought of dirty Sanchez or of sloppily eating someone’s mighty caliber. They consider all chat rooms as sex dens and then flirt with other chatters by skanky talks and hope for the fun to progress at YM. Some lusty bunnies are discreet, they prefer PM.

Samples: blurted - ano cam2cam n tayo?


many more to go...
the branded, the copy-reader, the mouth-watery, the "Im good looking - you're ugly" animals, the true helpers, the perfectionist, etc...

4 comments:

perioperativenurse said...

"Samples: blurted - ano cam2cam n tayo?"

LOL. familiar ahhh..

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