Monday, July 7, 2008

Ohright! I need an encouragement, pathetic!

I woke up at around eight in the morning but the weather was so inviting for a nappy extension. Instead of getting up, I curled up again to my Mickey Mouse pillow and savored the cold rainy morning.
“Hey, I thought you have a walk today?” asked my sister while drumming my shoulder
“Did I tell you?” “Did I?” my reply
“Shoo, get up, you sloth” shrieked my sister
Thanks goodie, there was someone who kicked my ass for me to get up.

Instead of crunching up the breakfast, I went to the pc and checked on my mails, blogs, and my affiliated chat box.
Okay, there was no one around…On the time that I was to leave, there were chatters who popped up. Damn! I wound up and I started talking about the sloth things in life. Sheesh, I loved it, the nonsensical talks. I did not notice time until one of the chatters had whacked me up, calling me a jerk and telling me to get a life, lol.
Thanks goodie, there was someone who hit me up for me to eat my breakfast.

Then, I gobbled my pot of coffee and bread. I turned on the TV and sheesh! It was the music countdown. Hmm… It’s been for ages already since the last time I had an update about the music snippets. Gotcha, couch potato!
“Ay! Aren’t you going to use the restroom? I’ll dump”
Oh Shit, I do not want a lungful scat!
Thanks goodie, there was someone who grossed me out for me to take a bath.

“the hardest thing in life...”

Pathetic life...

I thought it was just the usual sadness that would die after a little mourn in a day but the feeling was becoming intense day after day as if I had a grave loss. Then I started to perceive negative things about my life – the empty mood, loss of interest to my old leisure pursuit like reading and making test drills. Everything went out of synch and all of my pessimism had compounded that caused indolence and eventually caused me to do nothing (only with the compulsion of just sitting back). Oh! Pathetic life… My schedule was ruined and all of my appointments were just gone to nothing. I’m broke.

Then I remembered what I used to do during my off-putting days at school. One night, I lit a candle, played my sax soul collections and started burning some sandalwood incense. My sadness got me down on my knees and started crying for no reason. It’s all planned, a plot to be unhappy. When all of my tears had dried, I felt a relief and it actually made me feel good. Thinking about the context of my feelings and letting it to flow freely really had moved my mood sanguinely. I don’t know maybe it’s a temporary depression but still I valued it, it made me realize some important features of human, the sense of happiness and how to value happiness. This is pretty mumbo jumbo but it truly enriched my being.

By the way, I think that night, I prayed.

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