It took me days (or weeks) to decipher this floating feeling of mine until thoughts got crumpled and emotions got crippled. It’s all about the continuum – the past, the present, and the thoughts for the future. We were happy then, we’re confused at the moment, and we’re starting to feel the burden of anticipating the tomorrows. Lots of nights were already wasted on putting the blame on me, for all the confusion that sets us apart. I thought so hard and tried to dig out the real problems. Was it with me or with you? Reducing all the propositions and parameters of the illogical statements, the problem is no other than me. It’s simple, so simple to put the blame on me, and so simple reason to mourn each day. It’s a simple escape to the complexities or I may say simplicity of the problem. Don’t look at me that way and puh-leez remove that finger on my face. Do I really deserve it? Maybe, just maybe. But I do accept any consequence that you’d like to lay down upon my table. Simple!
But let’s take a little review of the not-accounted facts of our time together – the not-so-remote past.
I offered a genuine friendship and of course I made my craft of the getting-to-know phase interesting for both of us. My intention was pure, true - no stain of hoax. With just a little time, we made it through the happy merry go around. It’s nice, mushy, and dupah ubah supah cool. It was a good thing to think or wish that it would be forever. But here comes the clichés, read it; nothing last forever (only diamonds last forever), and - the only constant in this world is change. Fed up with these tag lines? So what’s next? Let’s just say that in every script there should be a twist. Alright, the whirlwind came in, but technically in our case it was a cold war or the unspoken grieves, the controlled misery that’s haunting inward. In your point, of course, the problem maker was me. In the eyes of the third observer, it would be the same judgment, I guess.
Here’s my lame excuse. Everyone has his own history, some are good but mostly are horrible…Alright, I forgot!!!
It’s Christmas! I shouldn’t be talking like this…Let’s continue this on some other time, I’m just tired!
Oh, pardon me- only given to a sinner!
Despite of the glittery and shiny ornaments around the streets, the children who sing merry medley and the touch of the wind, I find myself in solitude just like the monster with tiny hearts that lives in a snowy Mount Crumpit. I guess the Grinch has stolen my Christmas. Weeks prior to Christmas, I was very excited; I bought gifts early and I visited some good places. But then as the days came close to Christmas, my world became cold, blurry, and confused. And now – it’s black! Grinch why’d you do this?