confused

I am busy doing nothing. Thoughts are running through my head about a lot of things, especially the call of flesh. Right now -at this point of time, I am struggling between the cunning sexual desire and the desire to contemplate. You can’t really serve to gods. Contemplation about life and sexual appetite are totally opposite poles. You have to decide which way you are going to. Contemplation versus Sexual Desire, an ongoing struggle for each of us, lucky is the one who have found the perfect mate to enjoy the flesh without the guilt of the standards that’s has been laid upon by the culture. The standards that keep my head spinning on how I will attain exclusion or how will I twist the stated rules by inserting the sense of relativity. But rules are absolute, universal, and stiff – they say, the books say, the wise men say. Though these were intended to maintain order and equilibrium, in some points these create instability in someone’s world, in someone’s world created different from the scope of the cultural realms. But you’re insignificant to be noticed because you think you are. After a tedious and thorough contemplation about the standards – the must-do, the more I realized how hard it is to fit yourself in the written standards if you see the world of a deliberate opposite of the rules. The rules are simply meant to give a façade of balance but obviously almost everything is on the space of instability – maybe lost in wilderness of the world. Conformity to the world that’s running the opposite of its definition or conformity to what you know is right for you? The good way is the hard way – they say, again. I am decided now – conform to what you think is right because it’s your world, your own world.