Saturday, May 24, 2008

rip my face off

"i can't stand it...
who's that monster i see staring straight back at me?"
waaaaaaaaah, ako pala...its my own reflection...

I not a metro sexual type of a guy, i categorized myself under the wash and wear filthy stud who has no trouble getting laid,lol! My life's pretty cool back then but when a small bump appeared on my kissable cheek (not the butt cheek)two months ago, my pretty boy image has faded away, as if,lol.Then namutakti na!!!But it didn't matter to me, basta me kamay! Then one time while i was riding on a train, there was someone who "shhhh" me, bigla sabe, "hoy papalitan mo mukha mo"...waaaaaaaaah, i looked around and examined all the shit beside me, amfs tae ako lang meron mga bumps sa faceeeeee....taena sino sumigaw "said to myself with full anger and shame at the same time. Amfs, the fucking disgrace was no other than my high school friend. Shit! Shit! Shit! naisahan ako!

After that humiliating day with my high school "friend" (grrr), i took a moment in front of a life-size mirror, then i questioned " who's that monster i see staring straight back at me? waaaaaaaaaah! because of that realization i made a strong decision,"i need to rip of my face off!"

Maulan kanina pero tinahak ko parin akong araneta center para sa bioessence. At last, nakuha ko rin. I was reluctant pero nakita ko ulet reflection ko sa glass door, sige okay na,pasok!

Diamond peel please...

tulog muna...

Friday, May 23, 2008

singer, songster, songstress...

last night i was invited to a voice conference @ym. The room was full of cranky, talkative monkeys and the situation summoned a proactive conversation,lol. I was a lil bit baffled (for a i was a newbie and ya know', an introvert person)and it seemed that i was caught in a busy, strangers' land,lol. I really had nothing to talk about (though id really love to join the convo) i just observed them the yahooing(a verb used for people talking on yahoo)went on, i was rolling on the floor laughing because of their cooky voices,lol.

Bruno: so twangy with her excessive nasality, lol. She said that it was a bedroom voice (woooo...spooky room!)."Tuloy ba shh...shh tayo shhhshh Ehhbsshh", now i know what ipis boses is...(madagascar hissing cockroach)My comment: You need a voice coach,

nene hunter: Louis Armstrong-type voice,lol. He strongly claimed that it was a "pang-romansa" voice. 'Ahnoh ahhIrah? Cuhmm k n bahhh?", his voice was like coming from a toothless dirty old man(seriously).My comment: Consult a laryngologist, you may need an immediate surgery.

the infamous queen: What a rough voice!!! Bumpy and very irregular (sounded like his vocal folds were unsynchronized). "Trinooooomaaah"(again, one more that you ad infinitum Kris Aquino?),the best word that i'v heard that night, with irregular phonation beats with subharmonics modulations, lol. My comment: Does a chimp has the analytical ability that tells him when to keep quiet?

the frigid: well, i love her voice. It's very resonant, she uttered every word glamorously...(no biases pls...)My comment: Salute you!!!

swine singer: craky, yawning voice. During his "time to shine" singing moment, his voice was a bit wavering and pulsed (similar to food cooking in a hot frying pan) My comment: This a form of mutation! Calling all humpty dumpty eggheads to study this very unique subject.

lol...yeah! that made my night...kaya ako shaddap n lang,lol.

kidding! Peace out people.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

How to Be Kind...the filthy steps!

While i was spending my kill-time nocturnal moments, i accidentally clicked on the bookmark with the topic chosen by my sister. Ya' know, the usual girlie prim and proper things-to-do but i found this one article very interesting and helpful for me and for those who wants to shit my life. How to be kind (smug).

Do you bite someone's head off once they start talking? Or do all your friends describe you as too mean? Well here I will tell you how to be kind.


1. The first step to being kind is being happy (not phony happy) Try to get more sleep at night or do something that makes you feel good without criticizing others.
- waaaaaahhhhhh: this is not applicable to me! Get more sleep? coffee pleaseee...
2. Before you can be kind to others you have to be kind to yourself. Calling yourself fat or ugly makes you feel bad and you may want to criticize other people.
- jeeez: I feel dumb dumb dumb! I'm a filthy animal.
3. Avoid gossiping/spreading rumors about other people.
- hmmm..not my cup of tea
4. When talking to someone try to listen until they are done.
- well, i can do this!
5. Try to compliment them on something they're wearing ("Oh, I love your shirt." Or, "Your shoes are awesome."). Try not to get jealous; if they know you're jealous it can cause an awkward moment.
- ohhh, i hate mushy comments. Say it loud, say it right!
6. Kind people always are themselves and don't care if they look dumb while they are doing something.(Like laughing so hard they can't stop.)
- ahahahahhaahaha, laughs to death. i don't care!
7. If someone is being mean to another person like calling them stupid or fat try not to join in.
- getting jiggy with it, tra la la la!
8. If your friends are teasing or gossiping about a person, give a non-confrontational defense--such as "She's always been nice to me"--or steer them away from that conversation topic.
- agree!
9. If someone compliments you, don't give them a dirty look and say "back off jerk face!" Say thanks and continue what you were doing or compliment them in return.(Remember this person is trying to be nice and friendly towards you, perhaps wanting to be your friend.)
- rolling eyeballs, batting eyelashes...

Then after reading this article, i asked myself "how to be kind?" answer was - ???

An applesause for your gray matter...

“I'm sorry mama!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry!
But tonight I'm cleaning out my closet!”

Buzz, showbiz blitz, paparazzi, perezhilton…etc. Our society has never run out of steamy fresh gossip, from the very shallow ones up to the scary skeletons in someone’s closet. Gossip, this is indeed the oldest and the most popular way in spreading views like plague that drops our jaws and makes us drools.

Samples: When Michael Douglas was admitted to rehab in 1990 and claimed the he was a sex addict. When the matrix superstar admitted that he was a fag, the whole world was shocked and turned all ears on homo superstars. The Hilton, Spears, and Lohans’ rivalry for filthy slutty trophy that makes the entertainment industry rich is non-stop top-rated and viewed. And the gossipocracy is far advance in politics, the filthiest stage drama of mankind, and an intercontinental flights rumormonger. We have the New York Governor media pressure over his involvement in a career-ending prostitution scandal, and the first couple GMA and FG scandal about the never-ending kickback's and irregularities of the famous NBN ZTE Deal. That’s the payoff of the fame and glare popularity of showbiz, all closets are open for investigation.

This is never-ending. This makes the pages of newspapers and tabloids. And this has become a dose of applesauce for daily living.

But what if these things happen to you?
Crap! Yes, Bullshit!

It’s totally bullshit when gossip vultures come to your life and make a fancy work of paparazzi. I can’t see the point why do some people latches on you just to make a fucking babble. Hey, I’m not a fucking politician or any lying sack of shit. They’re the clingy bitches like ingrown nails with loose-mouth, very annoying. “Is it true, blah blah” “Oh I’ve discovered that blah blah is a complete asshole” acting so much like of the gossip squad bitches. They want to know the skeletons in your closet for a filthy lame reason, just to feed their nasty dumb brains. As if they have clean and clear assess!

Jeez, everyone has it, the corpse in a closet that you’ve been hiding for ages. The troubled thought that makes you cry out in the dead of the night and with the drifting mind from present to past that's killing you and makes you feel so guilty and rotten...blah blah blah... Yes, the skeleton you do not wish to see again and it’s hunting you. Yeah! Yeah! Scary! But does it make a sense for someone to dig it up? Are they receiving payoffs for knowing such nasty bones?

I don't see any point! But if that makes them happy, then go on!
Secrets! Secrets! I have plenty of it. How about the size of my penis? Wanna know?

I'm tired!
I'm fed up with it.

“I'm sorry mama!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry!
But tonight I'm closing up my closet!”

Whoaaa! Tinatamad n ko!tatapusin bukas!Next emo moments!
lol nonsense! naglabas lang ng galit.!lol!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

emo boy (not the one who wears tight pants and sweaters)

emo moments...
I haven't had enough sleep for almost a week. With only three or four hours of dozing off each day, its dragging me off! My run down life, pathetic. I had a weather convo with some of my xat friends but the emo bombi had overdue the stupid feelings inside of me...As a person who does nothing, life becomes a burden and its getting heavier each day. Though i usually take a moment every morning to convince myself that everything has a purpose, it doesn't work anymore, it's just a mere blather to disguise the pain and the hermit feelings. This is too much...weeps!sobs!
I'm an "emo boy" (not the one who wears tight girl jeans)today, breathes in and out!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Chat Aficionados (xat): incomplete list

Here are the tidbits about the different chat aficionados, my very own category - unscientific but based from my keen observation and ...entitled opinion...

The Illusionist – these are the hyena-like faces at the chat room. They have the toughest face to give themselves outstanding, fantastical, wondrous, stupendous nick but in reality they have the anchovy-like gray matter, considering the number of neurons and synaptic connections.

Samples: catch up with the combination of the cunning intelligence of Athena and the heavenly beauty of Aphrodite.

The False-Humility trickers
– I’m no good but look at me again I’m great. These are the showy geek freaks who use uncertain remarks such as “baka, daw, parang ganun” in answering the inquiries of the inquirers (another category) but in fact they wanted to show off the magnitude of their superior quality.

Samples: wait till’ the coffee talks.

Know-it-all veggies –
This category has a similarity with the false-humility trickers but more pesky and imposing with their tasteless display. These are the claiming extravagant as if they know all the elements on earth but sometimes, rather, most of the times; they just ride in to the infamous talk.

Samples: okay, tama nga yun, I remember (then justifies), yes ganun yun…

Weeps Spillers
– These are the emotional freaks who love to broadcast their dramatic and moving fairy-tale for public support and sympathy -“Hay naku bakit mo ako iniiwasan, bakit k b ganyan…Hirap ng trabaho ko sobra na kong nagsusuffer”

Samples: ride in to the Queens’ theatrical accounts.

– These freaks are riddled with insecurities or doubts that they’re not worth of the crowd’s attention. So they just creep around for the perfect timing. But other lurkers are more substantial with their “I watch and I see what others do not see” attitude.

Samples: log in and then see them all waiting in the shadows.

"I am here, can’t you see" animals
– They are fairly straightforward but generally histrionic “attention is mine belief” animals. The attention seeker or what we usually label as the urban “pampam”. They flaunt in the room with their “all caps” statements or protracted spelling.

Samples: m2m

The rotten tomatoes or spoilers
– These are the antisocial freaks who just come to the room to ruin someone’s life. There you go the unstoppable curses; they just love to unstich the sitch”

Samples: just wait, they’ll come in a moment

Inquirers - There are three types of grotesque inquirers.
The devils-advocate inquirer – they throw questions just to test how far you can go. There’s always a doubt in every answer given. They’re simply the fuckinality skeptics.
The Hyphy inquirer- These are the bunch of e40ism, deemed inferior for they’re inquiring for poppycock question. Where I could find the forum link (jeez navigate, use your eyes – voice raises octave)? Is the 07 result out already? They may sound “pampam” but better place them under this category.
The true inquirers – They question good questions.

Peace Keeper wannabe
- They act as if they’re natural mediator (born or/and made), and the crowd tend to trust them for not having sides. The hell of truth, they try too hard to fit in the crowd and wish they have the skills and power of a pro but in the end they piss themselves and earn disgust. But sometimes these wannabes turn out to be an in-demand live stage thespian.

Samples: no need, way too obvious!

Lusty bunnies – rock on satyriasis and nymphomaniac. These are the lusty bunnies, they can’t live even for a minute without the thought of dirty Sanchez or of sloppily eating someone’s mighty caliber. They consider all chat rooms as sex dens and then flirt with other chatters by skanky talks and hope for the fun to progress at YM. Some lusty bunnies are discreet, they prefer PM.

Samples: blurted - ano cam2cam n tayo?

many more to go...
the branded, the copy-reader, the mouth-watery, the "Im good looking - you're ugly" animals, the true helpers, the perfectionist, etc...

Monday, May 19, 2008

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Grrrr...i got sore sore sore....

I was banned damn! I wasn't able to give my full tedious speech of dunghill.
As i was jumping from sites to sites, i logged in to fili**** While i was giving my "hello room" friendly greetings, one of the moderators instructed me to change my nick to my previous/original nick...(the hell of command, my nick at that time wasn't offensive at all!). It was care**** (his nick sounds like a cranky old custodian)and he shouted out loud in the room that i was on his "watch list"(that's the lame reason). Damn! I was trying to be good at that time. In reply, i said that it was my exclusive right to change my nick whenever i want to(i kept my once-in-a-blue-moon composure). But he enunciated the rules etc and he said "wait" then...thats it! end of story! I was banned! Grrrrrr....grrr...

Same old story for a bad bad bad person like me(misunderstood,lol)...but the hell i want for the moment is to give my fucking revenge to that fucking custodian in whatever means.


Just for LustFFs: the cooking oil experience "draft"

It was roughly midnight and all of my company were already half-dead in their consciousness. I went out and took a walk around the veranda of my filthy flat. My whole day was shitty, i flunked at one of my exams and had a clash with my friend about our thesis proposal title. So bad! I took a deep breath and slid my hand into my pocket to get some dime for my daily dose of nicotine but damn my pocket was empty. But I kept on moving my hand inside my pocket hoping for some dimes hiding on it. Then a sensitive gland was stimulated and i got pretty aroused for i was wearing boxers only and my "manoy" was freely hanging, swinging and banging inside. I immediately went to my room and started jerking but in the middle of my cockin' business i got bored, damn! I looked for my KY jelly (from OPD,OB dept) but i was out of stock so i just searched for the baby oil. I was searching bare naked, running around the house but i couldn't find it. Whoaa! The Eisntien's bulb lit up and i figured out the perfect alternative. I went to the kitchen and snatched the one liter bottle of Minola cooking oil. "this is perfect" told to myself grinning. My blood was rushing unstoppable into my full-kickin' manoy while my mind was on the creative lust operation. Perfect oil, perfect minola oil!When I was about to come*,i heard the screech of the door.Shit! In a wink, my aunt was in my face clearing her eyes. As a reflex act i grabbed the "tabo" on the sink, covered my manoy and run out of the kitchen swiftly as if I was in chase by wolf packs. While i was on my shame escape i could see that my aunt's face was petrified, that's a shit! Haiz! I lost my sexual appetite and slept with "palusot numbers" running through my head. The next day, i got up very early, prepared myself, escaped breakfast, and rushed to school. Luckily my aunt was just visiting, the time i got home from school she was gone already . "sighed"!

Morale: don't use cooking oil for your filthy "cocking" business.