LOVE "OR"...what?

I am still trying to figure out what is happening to me
Moreover, I am a tad anGRRrrry!
For the feelings that I can’t Spelle out correctly
For the tempo that s l o o o w w s s s my gist
For the Cnofnusoin contained by me
For the speech________________less occasion
And
For my stutstuttering and uhm uhm stam...stame…mering
That I cannot finish anthin…
And
The Silence
.
.
.
What does it mean?
However, I suppose I am F
a
l l
in
With
My wards-back thoughts, shallying-shilly, and valence-ambi
My mood swing
My UPS and
DOWNS
My pose that _opens_ and (closes) all the guarantees
But I want this fervid affection to grOW
By grasping no matter which about you
The BIG and the BOLD
The small and the timid
The simple and the BiZaRrE
The Black,White, and Gray…
The ? is…
Do I need to keepittight?
“OR”
I need to S_P_A_C_E it out
To comprehend all these things and to understand
This crazy feeling of cryptograph
Is it 143 = U and M.E?
“OR”
Is it “LOVE OR…what?